Fearless

A solitary soliloquy of Eleanor Roosevelt's lies on my desk:

"Do one thing everyday that SCARES you."

Fearless!

At the heart of the hero lies the ability to stuff down fear and charge into the impossible. This morning I finished one of my favorite works by Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, heralding the unlikely, humble heroine Fanny Burney in a houseful of pampered elite. It was her ability to face her own fears and keep walking, moving, and living that won my admiration. Three years ago, I faced a seemingly insurmountable challenge…and could tell you all about it. However, instead of charging forward today with fearless abandon, I find myself continuing to waffle on the small, yet vital changes that would make my life amazing – powerful – honorable. I am unable, it seems, to emulate Fanny in my everyday walking, moving and living.

For if I were able to walk with consistency, I might be able to pick up running again, with the lure of another triathlon. If I were able to move with spirit, I might find myself working a job I love, rather than endure the drudgery of high-paying, soul-sucking employment. If I could live with purpose and seize yon diem each and every day…I might have true life to write about, as Jane did. And a story worth telling, as Fanny proved.

No, it is not the solitary task I shrink from, although scrapbooking photos, and maintaining a budget may be some of the steps needed to accomplish my purpose, but the philosophical change from fear to fearless.

From waffling to decisive.

From who I was, to who I wish to be.

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